Straight outta Oakhurst
Ruff's Percussive Tome of Identification
Identifies objects it is used to hit.
This Tome contains 50 pages. Created by a powerful, but aggressive and insane Chaotic Neutral Wizard known variously as: “That crazy bastard, Ruff!” and “Oh Gods, It’s Ruff!” and “Hells, here comes Ruff again!” this Tome will, when applied forcefully to any object, by any individual—regardless of whether or not they are normally able to use magic—cause magically to appear upon one page the identification of whatever it was bashed against. 15 pages have been used, and contain information regarding the following items it has been beaten upon in the past:
- This page contains a recipe for a sandwich Ruff particularly liked (roast dire bison with cheese and spicy mustard).
- Detailed study of a Kobold named Geeduk, who once accosted Ruff in the forest. Contains detailed biological information pertaining to all kobolds.
- A detailed biology of a walnut, which Ruff used the book to crack open.
- A detailed biology of a second walnut, which Ruff used the book to crack open.
- A detailed biology of a hazelnut, which Ruff used the book to crack open.
- A detailed blueprint for a Trebuchet, including ballistic calculations.
- A detailed biology of a small black fly smashed by Ruff.
- The story of an ash wood peg from its growth on the tree, until it mas made by a local carpenter, and including its having been bashed in by Ruff to hold up a shelf.
- The high points of the life of Phomes Cane, a local barrister who annoyed Ruff at a meeting of the town council. (Cane died more than 700 years ago)
- A detailed biology of a small spider Ruff smashed.
- A detailed blueprint of Ruff’s workbench.
- The high points of the life of Andres Garre, a missionary who knocked on Ruff’s door once when Ruff was eating dinner. (Garre has been dead for over 700 years now)
- The high points of the life of Gery Kypwe, a notorious local bandit around 400 years ago. Includes a rough map leading to his secret treasure stash.
- The high points of the life of Alter Maley, the bandit who hit Kypwe with the tome first, after a dispute over the division of the loot from the librarian they had just killed.
- Details about a particular Orc named Kragh, which includes information about the biology of all orcs. (Apparently Kragh was hit with this tome by another orc during a dispute some years ago.)